What do I do now?

Aside from my personal rant as a tbmc survivor its difficult. There is no help and I never get to run into the compassionate psychologists that everyone else seems to who works with them. Everyone I run into now that I know not to get labeled, still wont help with what really needs to be worked on. They seem to be of the same attitude to continue to contain me. To continue to minimize what happened.

There doesn’t seem to be any consistent help resources for trauma based mind control survivors. There is alot of dangerous people in the community I am sure. I have read that its still all mind games and mc war games. That people will exploit you etc. Well, yeah. Becuz like the Ti community there is no accountability.
I find it strange that the original mind control survivor scene that came up in the 1990’s has degenerated into a few surviving people and the rest seem to have had it with the scene. Oh, so screw all the new people coming in?
The worst feeling you get from this is that the whole coming out thing was itself some sort of operation. Being a mind control survivor I feel a deep sense of horror and aloneness knowing that ‘now I’ll never get home ‘ (becuz Home is an illusion, there is no hope or solid ground to land on. No Truth.)
And worse being targeted has robbed me of my world of imagination, inner worlds and illusion. All self love and comfort has gone. I don’t mind putting a mirror into another mirror and viewing eternity. I dont mind the idea of dying in that or even living in it. What I do mind is that it seems I may not use my imagination anymore but I may also never know TRUTH. Or rather the truth is to be covered up forever and I am to live in this cruel limbo where I am not labeled crazy but no one must speak about what happened or acknowledge that it damaged me.
This is an absolutely ridiculous thing to demand of any human being ever. People have a right to live and die. No one should ever be forced to be kept in a manufactured world of the living dead.

Murdering someone is one thing, but destroying a life draining one of energy and emotion and then invalidating them completely in an attempt to make them totally docile to keep them alive as a reminder of your ultimate power. . ……. . . . ……….
that is the purpose of it isn’t it? The shrunken head bit. A trophy on the wall.

Never mind…I answered my own question. I know just what to do now.
Survivors I know its hard and there seems to be no island in the waters as you hang on still. But do not give in to mind control and drown. Its what they want..little manageable victims.

I WILL have back what is mine.


~ by onmc on August 29, 2008.

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