Homelessness for survivors of truama based mind control (programming)

This may also be part of a ridiculous plan to ‘end homelessness in 10 years’.   Well, then stop targeting whistleblowers and victim witnesses or trying to gas light people into driving them nuts to cover up something like covering a madams ass or unethical human experimentation..just to name a few motives. Ahem, anyway, like I wrote dont ever think you have found a paradise nowadays with no remote influence.  That exists in small town X somewhere like in TN or south ILL where there is no cell phone reception or if you can live underground two levels down or if you own a building of concrete/steel.  All the same rules apply.   This bs with attempting a psychocivilized society IS a war and when they get rid of those of us, for whatever reason, KNOW what is going on and are resistant, then they will have there perfect NWO or psychocivilized society.   I sometimes feel we are just the bugs in the system they need to iron out.   Its like whoever is doing this is so convinced its a good idea, natural hunman beings are considered defective and psycho civilization or ‘correction’ is considered right and good.    That is always the way with oppression.  Perhaps years from now people will see things differently, or perhaps we are a dying breed destined for exinction. Maybe even like in my ex’s favorite movie THX.   We are the ones who choose freedom even if this means going down the train tunnel and out onto a radiated surface-destined to die soonafter.    I would never want to be Donald Pleasance’s character….who gets cuffed and goes back into society ever so meekly and quiet.Perhaps that is their definition of  ‘civilized’, this kind of meek and docile gentle human being.
If this state is not achieved by spiritual enlightenment or evolution of the human Will, then its a crock of sh*t and I wouldnt trust it.  When one has been beaten down, silenced and ignored such a role is attractive- thats what the system does: wear you down wear you down.  You arent civilized you’re tired, stifled, conditioned and have internalized being terrorized.  You dont know who the f*ck you are anymore and believe me, the system will be more than happy to provide you with a face. A mask.   ‘Take it , its just easier’- thats what you will say.  And if you do not, everything you say can just be disregarded as ‘mental illness’ or meaningless and easy enough to ignore.

I am not stupid, though I am often a fool.   I realize that often a faction of people reading this truly believe or their only interest is that here is this mentally ill woman who is fighting her delusions or demons while homeless.   They see it as psycho drama or of the workings of the human mind itself strictly.  Your philosphy majors and psychology buffs.   But those types of people are utterly useless when getting something substancial done is needed.
Unless of course the philosophy  buffs want to keep quiet and sit back and let the psychology majors come forward and discuss Pavlovian classical conditioning or Stasi tactics in East Germany or MK Ultra or torturing Gitmo Bay prisoners while providing them with councillors to make it better as ? perhaps human experiment?    When these people sit down and seriously analyze the minds of our military, our worst politicians or our ‘dirty tricks’ covert intel people- then and only then do they have any weight in what they say.
The easiest way to get away with all this is the ignore the TI, act like they could not POSSIBLY be imporant enough to be being targeted by the important factions mentioned above or even law enforcement even if such things do exist and in the end just call the person a mental case.
The lack of reality surrounding the homeless scene should make everyone just a LITTLE suspect about what kind of prisoners of war so to speak, they are hiding in this population.  The nursery school treatment that we get or the jail treatment is very telling of what is actually going on here.
Now instead  of the system asking us probing questions all the time let us ask of them:   WHY do the homelesss now have Voice or any type of input into how the system runs? Surely not all homeless persons are mentally ill beyond self care or managing thier own lives?  Especially since many homeless were at one time in thier history parents, homeowners or worked in various professions or dealt with the corporate world in some capacity.   WHY are those homeless who have finances and are able to manage their own lives to some degree, even socially, not provided with a shelters setting that asks they pay into that shelter a small amount of money as well as private or govt subsidizing/grants so that they may feel more self suffiecient and empowered?  You have people who are chronically homeless anyway who match this description.  WHY do you not dig more deeply into the reasons for homelessness and that includes being targeted into being destitute?  A dont ask dont tell policy is not enough as it is too easy to assume mental illness or even covertly document this without the client’s knowledge.  The system is making assesments of citizen’s state of affairs as well as thie mental state due to the common method of  CONSIDERING THEM AS NON CITIZENS WITH NO OR LITTLE CIVIL AND HUMAN RIGHTS due to them being homeless to begin with, especially the chronically homeless.   What is needed is a very workable ‘grey’ area or a private disclosure where one may say ‘I am fighting oppression’ or even ‘I am being followed and blacklisted but dont know the motive” or” ..am not comfortable disclosing the motive”.    Now as it is it all depends on who I tell the cover story to for christsake.  In Boston a shrink on the take tried to make me sound psychotic during the federal investigation for saying that PI John Panderos told me that everyone was being followed and harassed and not to go blabbing to feds without an expensive lawyer.   That is a damn feesible story (and NO I didnt mention names becuz I didnt understand he and his girlfriend were trying to screw me  over at that time. Scott used to say “be careful” when I wud talk about them after realizing what they were doing..I <em>AM</em> sorry people but are <strong>YOU</strong> PROGRAMMED?  WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO FEAR EXCEPT SUICIDE PROGRAMMING???NOT MUCH and certainly not any human being outside the internal systems.  They are all <em>so </em>stupid.  Common criminals takes down a piece of valuable and innovative machinery created through years of truama based mind control..hmph.  Useful idiots I would say.  They would never have been able to pull any of that on me if I wasnt trying to work my way through the internal system and suicide progamming during that time frame.  I bet they just thought I was stupid and a bimbo.  It would be sad to learn that they are actually bright enough to be in on it at that level….it would make me ashamed to be programmed.  They were all such..slobs.  Slobs that were criminal minds with money and connections-still my internal programming is so much more intricate that say, PI John or any of those types.  Slobs, taking me down with all that beauty inside the internal progamming system.  Its just sad.  I am more ashamed of the goofs who took me down than I am about being taken down.  This is one of the reasons suicide programming would have been preferable.  It would have at least been an exclusive experience of the marvel of mathematics, structure, art and music- innovation.  DYING by that beats living being beaten by…those disgusting pigs from Boston who have money, connections and absolutely no class other than what society affords them due to the aforementioned.   I am ashamed to be alive really.)

Anyway, what I am saying is that that is a very believable story but one must be careful of people working for corrupt police or higher up the gang stalking system.  Sometimes I tell medical people about the radiation experimentation and it has caused health issues like thyroid, with my mother. I tell it very casually and quickly.  They know, they accept it and move on.  Also if you tell the right people about the corruption they just understand and move on.  Its NOT NORMAL to deny people’s stories that are feasible the way its been done with me all along.  Last time I came to Cali during when this mess started in like 2006 in Freemont, a social worker replied “geet thats hard, especially if you’re not sure if your lawyer is in on it or not either”.  NORMAL people understand humans are crooked and sinister… the gang stalking system is NOT NORMAL and they take very normal people…bright,happy, smart, talented able bodied people like me and other targets, and via insanity reduce us to mindless homeless relics.

If the homeless field truly wants to remove some of their burden or help us, there needs to be more silent awareness of human experimentation, harassment due to cover ups, even ritual abuse survivors who have very particular or different needs than alot of normal citizens.  They may appear childlike or even bimbos on the surface but there may be a very intelligent mind within or even someone capable of murder, suicide or death without blinking an eye.  Thier needs or the way to handle them is very…different and specific.  In many ways they can take care of themselves more efficiently due to programming being like an internal computer or if they have psychic ability/handlers they will KNOW who to stay away from and be protected but  often these tough people will be wounded by something that seems like it would hurt a child or an adult should know how to deal with such things.  Mind control survivors have not had alot of experience with how the world is run..the normal happy civilized world.  Often they can deal with death or emergencies better than most people as the hardcore stuff is normal to us, but daily simplicities or niceties either dont make sense or elude us.   This is also why so many survivors of mind control or RA in some cases are chronically homeless even outside of the harassment designed to keep us eternally from ‘telling’ how this all works.  I genuinely believe that most people do NOT understand how to deal with us.  If we get treated by tough love or jail conditions, thats too harsh for trauma survivors and it may actually TRIGGER programming designed to protect a mission, the slave or information the slave was trained to courier..like a Rambo situation in First Blood.  That is exactly what that movie is akin to. Many programmed people are like K9’s in that they are trained to hurt self before hurting others or to walk away at any cost instead of hurting innocent people.  There may be actual internal progamming that punsishes the slave for acting out in rage and this can hurt the person as it is brought up from rituals designed to cause severe surffering as it is progammed into the perso as a child.  This is the internal punishments that are worse than death in the outside world and why programmed people appear so brave..some monster of a human being- or otherwise it seems sometimes, traumatized the person enough so that they recall this sorrow moreso than the outside world.   Its complicated but you dont want to mistreat directly a progammed person especially if they are not in control jsut yet from deprogramming.   You might get a person who actually blacks out, performs violence and then switches and cant recall anything.   If you mistreat these people you are asking for what you get… that is why gang stalking- a slow mistreatment and breaking down of the person is used to get control of them instead of direct confrontation with faces they can memorize.  That is why the gang stalking system uses ‘faceless’ strangers.  They know they created a monster or someone sees it that way so whoever wants to destroy the mind and programming of the slave breaks them down this way and then tries to behavior modify them.  Of course this is cruel but there is some faction out there- Christians or someone who is well meaning but really selfish–who dont believe in letting a slave explore who they are or reprogram themselves.
If you treat the person like a co dependent average female or a child, they will not take to this as it insults the internal systems that are created or trained early on to do mental if not literal physical gymnastics to get around difficult problem solving or at least surviving.   In short- they will get bored.  And with every female programmed person there are bound to be male alters or others within that do not appreciate being treated like some ‘broad’ and will resent the female cackling hen party.  You cant treat a wolf like a housecat that sits in your lap…though programmed people, especially the women can be just like that if handled properly…there is a wolf within and this entity is NOT stupid nor does it like games being played with pecking orders. 

There is not enough respect for intelligence or people’s fighting spirit in the homeless scene.  They either destroy you further by putting your  in created conditions that force you to fight where you sleep and often many homeless people fight every day either internally or society’s attitude of die, go away or disappear or conform or these are people like myself that ‘switch’ into safe modes or fight modes and its very cruel to create drama when a truama or RA survivor has experienced drama that most of these people would not have lived through.  That kind of energy for a programmed person or truama survivor, ESPECIALLY one being harassed to either silence them or destroy them by psychological warfare tactics, means Fight or Flight to their bodies especially if they have been targeted for years. 

OR, they try to dumb the person by promoting anti intellectual environments which screams to the survivor “Time to go out and Sex/Drgs, Sex/Drugs”.  If someone has made it through recovery from drugs they have most likely spent a good many years in a stupor and 1) now they are thinking people more awake than your average person who DIDNT experiement with conshusness 2) it was alot more pleasurable and fun to be in  a coma while taking drugs or drinking than sitting around with a bunch of depressive people torturing yourself with Jerry Springer.   Smart people who learned differently or were very artistic or had problems at home often TOOK drugs starting in school due to the marked lack of experiences for them IN OUR SCHOOL SYSTEM that wud satisfy them.   I believe that in the old days it was planned that these kids fall by the wayside as if they are smart or gifted and rebellious they are dangerous anyway so get them into drugs…now they probably just medicate them on psychiatry’s drugs. Same difference except they are managing the escaping rams from the herd and making them into sheep before they cause to much trouble out in society.  Hmph.

OR…the shelter system tries to make a person docile and this is especially true in women’s shelters.  Being a homeless woman who is what this childish society labels ‘independant’ or ‘strong’ or ‘wild’ or ..the worst label-‘ a fighter’  (ewww) is VERY difficult.  This is due to the fact that its obvious to everyone that you shouldnt even be homeless..or that you dont belong there.  I believe in order to avoid the embarassing questions that this raises pertaining to our society, our country, our hidden social ills like unregulated prostitution or our national security (programming) or our hidden pedo rings (ritual abuse), women like me are harassed, shelter hop and the hope is that eventually we will get old, get tired and drop somewhere and be satsfied to just be alive.   Eventually, you’ll conform or give in to conformity due to exhaustion or old age after years of fighting.   Programmed people ARE in reality, only human and its like robbing Superman of his powers and mistreating him until he forgets the glory days of such power.   Not only is this unfair and extremely selfish on behalf of society AND the handlers (who would expect programmers to be anything BUT selfish and f*cked up?) but it is, for some former slaves, an impossibility.  They WILL suicide, go  out by death by cop or take some one with them or fight until they drop DEAD not just drop tired and willing to give in.  ALL OF THESE SEEM TO BE ACCEPTABLE LOSSES AND CASUALITES to the system.  Normal society is to undereducated  to even know the innerworkings of programmed people to know that is what goes on with this population.

I believe that the system, the one that creates and destroys programmed people perhaps through ritual abuse, wants it very much that way.  This ensures that society’s ignorance helps destroy these human beings that have suffered a lifetime already.  Really, like anyone else they just wish to ‘retire’ and do what THEY want to do now.  Time is very different for programmed people.   It seems to outsiders that we grow up into ‘adults’ only in our late 20’s or at 30..often this is the true age of retirement.  Permanent retirement if you are an expendable and dont fight suicide sequences.   Outsiders have no idea how tired a programmed person is emotionally by the time they are 30.  And people are mean to us becuz we dont have children or are still youthful or attractive…duh, thats what the programmers wanted dumbasses…someone who is so attractive and trained with a front alter that they can appear nothing is wrong when inside there is a hell of alot going on.   
If you fight suicide programming and live its like you made it out of this cave and you now have a reserve of talent and intelligence that you were never allowed to tap into before.  You begin to excersise your OWN WILL not internal systems or outside handlers.   Its time for the slave to truly grow as a person and run their own life..  Scott said to me, now I see as a taunt as part of the game they played with me- “Your a woman that is just about ready to bloom”.  So its time to come after me and destroy me?  WTF?    I dont know why other survivors of mind control find these magical people who give them places to write their books so they can publish and then tour.   Most deprogrammed people seem to encounter harassment and are driven into homelessness to discredit them.  Expendables, most often very pretty women or at least sexually attractive, telll stories about plans for them to generate final profit, like snuff films.  I believe that some faction thinks it can do us a favor and behavior modify us, like some foriegn radical extremist. It doesnt really work when its American politicians that the slave recalls…its kind of going to create a “take this job and shove it” type of rebellious American character when you try to behavior modify YOUR OWN WORK FORCE FROM YOUR OWN CULTURE …how stupid are the people behind this?  You can tell they are just eggheads, or brainwashed military or something like that becuz all they think about is authority getting its way, not what they  are doing.  DUH. 
Anyway, its very sad but often the system comes after the deprogramming slave and its not right as the person is doing all the right things to make themselves the best they possibly can.

I think society is jealous, not becuz I naturally think in those terms, but due to being told that by many perps.   “They are trying to bring you down to thier level.” ” They are jealous of you”…I dont know if they are talking about another faction or the one that handles slaves..its all so undefined.  But I know that the word THEY has been used by at least 20 people now, all of which would could have told me who ‘they’ are instead of continuing to gaslight me.  One guy mentioned the “Central Intelligence Agency” but I dont trust anyone naming factions without proof.   Bring me some guy who can prove he’s from that faction and prove to me that its that faction behind it, becuz without that I aint accepting nothin, as that is the bitggest paranoid claim in use.  F- that. NO way  am I falling for that.  UNLESS its Julie’s dad’s connections or even hers trying to silence me while my handlers go after them to protect me…there was something going on with a little war over me.  I should feel important but I just feel very uninformed, very disappointed in humanity, very much wishing they had ALL left me alone to go through suicide programming.

It may even be a power trip with some pedo weirdo or woman controlling abuser to think its really helpful and great to have me become this worldy normal person who is grown up and strong or whatever.  Really all they have done is destroy my high intelligence and artistic talent….this system more than anything wants the target to believe that they are your friend and they are doing you a great service.    I believe its manipulation to, once again, get to the person’s WILL.  More brainwashing.   It does feel a bit like a pevert who enjoys making women out of little girls…then it fits right in with how the perps think doesnt it?

I wish there were more grey area type places and not so much ‘ask dont tell’, but I guess that is better than ‘tell and get labeled’.

I want to open a place for women like  me.  There would have to be a great improvement with abuse of authority as if there is one thing survivors cant deal with its that…for legit reasons I think.


~ by onmc on February 2, 2010.

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