Satanism and its abuses; SRA: Leads, Links and Vanishing Paths

I believe the thing I resent most about my predicament is that it puts me in the position of being a victim with no other alternatives. That was not my mentality before 2003 even after years of what most people would consider a life of exploitation and difficulty.

This situation mostly defines me as someone controlled by my circumstances which I hate. That was always true but what happened since 2003 has done a worse injustice. Its taken from me any spirituality that I possessed that could self heal or bring about transformation or change.

It seems that my having an understanding in or interest in Hermetics was a major threat to whoever is behind this system of oppression.

Note that Christianity is the only way out or faction that seems concerned with Satanic types of Ritual Abuse or covert activity directed to harm.

The situation in its later stages as now begins to unravel to reveal that the victim or Target should retire to Christianity in order to be ‘free’ or to gain protection. Its practically dictated that the person must do this eventually in order to come out of said darkness.

There is something very very suspect about this. And that is that I had inside of me all that was needed to re program my internal systems and work through all that was and all that had happened and I am sure whatever I was going to remember had happened especially all the missing years of memories from before the age of six. If Christianty was not a natural choice for me then, it should not be the sole portal for escape now. Such mind games are obviously in the interest ultimately of neutralizing a TI who is some sort of threat to the system as long as they possess spiritual power. Christianity has a way of making peace within a person. Which in other words means the living dead in my estimation, which is what it feels like. Its disgusting.

What worries me more is this idea that is being pushed that some very bad sh*t is going to come down in a year or two and the possibility that these actions are actually for the purpose of getting people ready so that anyone that higher ups deems worthy gets to make peace with themselves before death comes to human populations in a big way. THAT is my greatest worry actually.

I feel as if these experiences and now the feeling of being at Christianity’s door, being trapped with no other way out other than to enter, have left me with a faked and induced feeling of a bright light of goodness but one that is truly destructive of the person’s true Self and life energy.

It feels like its akin to being sucked dry of your true life energy and your true Spirit and having it replaced with a false energy. One that is definitely connected to something or someone bigger so of course then you’re controlled instead of the stand alone complex, and the whole ‘disconnection is danger’ attitude of the military in worldly affairs nowadays. We have all seen that what happens to TI’s covertly is often in direct parallel with what is going on with key factions OVERTLY in worldly affairs.
This is why its so suspect.

First Christianity and the occasional fake ass visions of Christ (cheesy affects by the way) were pushed here and there depending on what location I was in. Usually it was being pushed primarily by torture and that was obvious but also the intimation was that if you dont choose Christianity you will be owned by the Satanic factions. Of course what the Satanic factions did to me or have been used in a psychological campaign to make it seem such specific factions were involved, to make me continue to suffer and fill me with sympatico hatred via thier involvement.

I had my own hatred thank you very much when I deprogrammed and went through suicide programming. That is what seems to be the greatest danger to this system. MY own personal spiritual and psychic energy UNDER MY OWN WILL that truly spouts from my Self, my ancestors, MY dna, my life experience and my connections with others throughout my life. THAT is their greatest fear. I had a right to my anger, sorrow and hatred. It would have been healed in time through DEEDS AND ACTIONS put forward by my own WILL POWER to TRANSFORM my Self and my life into something that cleansed my years of suffering at the hands of others.

As of now if I become a servant of humanity I do so while being thier God’s ‘bitch’. Its like retiring spiritually and its disgusting. Its like being dead on earth still in a living body. Its horrible and no one- not myself or anyone else should give into this con.
..I recall driving through Cali once with a college girl who had picked me up somewhere. Strangely later on in the year I would see her at MIT visiting friends of hers. On this ride on long and sometimes boring highways I noted very clearly a cop car. Trust me when I tell you that from an energy standpoint the area, the person I was with and the situation in general made it so I could clearly get a psychic grip on what was going on. I was also healthier then, before I experienced anaphylaxis which has seemed to dull all my senses and depress my system and my psychic senses as well.
I got the impression that this was a Christian contact. I was suffering through some memories..something like that in that car. I felt an interface with the person in the cop car. I sensed being ‘read’ or scanned which is annoying to someone who knows when others are doing it. I then got the impression that this person was understanding I was in pain somehow and thus liberated me of that with some sort of falsified Christian-like feelings. First of all its none of his business. Secondly I should have all along been allowed to be the Master of my own destiny as well as my own damn fixing of my insides by my own Will. There was this arrogance about it and much of what was done to ‘fix’ the way I was feeling was done through a strong attempt to make me forget whatever I was remembering which made me feel as such in the first place.

I have had to deal with this sort of very intrusive, invasive violation of natural human boundaries for years now either from what seems Satanic forces or Christian ones.
But always there is military connection if one looks at the circumstances. THAT is why the gang stalking system, whatever you want to call it doesnt want me to write my book or at least would rather I retire into Christianity before I do so.

Its so f*cking manipulative. Its controlling and totally robs the person of there individuality.

Mind control is in use more than you want to know. You wont believe this but I will tell you anyway: companies aren’t just using mind control tech for anti theft or security. Its ridiculous now. Facebook has this application called iLike. I thought it was the only way to get music onto my sight. Myspace used to have the nicest and easiest system for simply choosing music or vids to post to your space that of course is gone now. Using iLike I guess people have to buy the music to listen so basically its an ad service. Fine. Its a bit odd however to be getting ideations connected to one’s choices even an occasional annoyance to choose certain other artists..ones I would not have thought of or I can tell its outside influence.

This has nothing to do directly with Satanic Ritual Abuse but it dos show that the level of tech at this point is so advanced that manipulation is far from difficult.
I cannot tell if what I experienced with that police car in Cali was purely a psychic warrior or a technomancy deal where tech was used to amplify such thoughts. Cali is also home to many Christian cult like churches that like thier money almost as much as Texas type similar set ups.

What bothered me so about it was that it was a human male who was being intrusive and controlling which is my greatest complaint about the involvement of police, firemen and city worker types. No man is going to tell me what to do..not now, not in the past, not in future- not ever. Not unless its done with alot more respect or as true assistance not like I am thier b*tch or some little girl they are controlling for her own good.
Also to be completely fair, though the Satanic factions involved did seem to do things by force or seduction, there was always something given in return if one was smart enough to avoid the possible pitfalls of such a dealing.

This is what makes this so confusing. The dark side actually seems much need of female energy. How should i put this..its very hard to sort this all out. Both sides of this have things about the way they do things that is extremely annoying. No matter what side you go to each one, to me, doesnt seem to define freedom. Whatever Satanic content was in my programming before 2003 did not imprison me as much as what happened does now, nor did it taint my spirit and turn me inward to pure hatred and fear as now. I had strength now I only have the strength gained from surviving being at war and victimized by this system daily for years which is not true spiritual strength.

Its obvious to me that what has occurred is much more in line with taking a powerful, independent force such as I was and forcing that person to expend all thier energy on working so very hard to survive. The true clinical insanity that I compartmentalize daily is not something anyone should have to live with, ever. This is also due to brain damage from mycotoxins which brings with it a pain in the senses that is inexplicable to those who have not experienced it.

In the life of a Targeted Individual, nightmares become real. And you live a nightmare, waking, for the rest of your life.

A woman named Rebecca in St Louis, who stayed in an apartment connected to the same hostel I was sucked into staying at, claimed arrogantly to know my story. She also told me that I was being put down for life due to my being able to tell just how the escort businesses run thier affairs in detail. She also mentioned something about being targeted for 10 years. This must have been misinformation becuz its been since 1995 overtly probably life long. 1996 approx until 2010 is much longer than 10 years I would say. Then again she is working off of a cover story essentially. There was no need to have me targeted in the situation pertaining to the federal investigations around my associates. I could have been warned much more thoroughly-none of it makes sense. I also acted the way I did becuz I was being heavily targeted especially gang stalked and harassed as well as people around me gas lighting me and deceiving me. It was a set up and a trap nothing more. A cover story that had to be framed around me. I think Gheppeti was more truthful than anyone in his idea that I was inconvenient..but just to who I wonder was he referring to.

Keep in mind none of this bullshit matters. Its a cover story. I was being terrorized since I was a kid and I was programmed way before I met either Jake or that powerfully connected ‘old associate’ of mine that everyone insists this is about. They must both be on such ego trips and that too is killing me. Street cred for being a pawn of an invisible system. My ‘old associate’ used to make fun of me by saying that I was just mad and jealous of her due to my inability compared to her to ‘make it’ in business. The truth is that I wanted to grow as a person much more than be chained to a business and that was my goal also I needed to find what I was good at which was NOT being a business person. So these circumstances the way they have been twisted serve the three people closest to me who betrayed me very well. They all love the ego boost I am sure behind appearing as if they are actually either responsible or the cause of another human being getting so abused and silenced for life. What screws up this theory is that in 2003 I started the process of going through three layers of suicide programming that were designed as post hypnotic suggestions from 30+ years before. That is what I would say is what this is about. That and me starting to recall memories from before the age of six which my mother seemed especially freaked out about.

I loathe how many people seem to believe in the simple tale of a group of connected powerful criminal types trying to get rid of me and either my family connections or some other faction kicking thier asses and letting them know that there are much higher forces in this world that ALLOW them to exist and operate. Its a nice story but truly this is about neutralizing someone who is somehow a threat to the society in which she exists as long as she is allowed to remain unaltered from her original form.

This seems to be par the course for anyone who is a survivor of high level programming. THAT is what this is about and nothing else.

That and being told constantly at one point in the harassment that I was “too aggressive”. Pretty strange for a person whos’ been under control all thier lives huh?

Often I am confused as to if Satanic factions are not strengthening and supportive of rebelling against forces and factions that would rather see someone like me put out to pasture as a neutralized good little lamb than to exist independently.

Then again…that much constant hatred is NOT healthy for my system nor is it a good alternative to my former natural energy of spirit that was much more balanced.

Then again, due to being tired and unable to think of any more moves in the game, retiring to to Christianity and that horrible, fake ass feeling of good and light that is just so falsified is NOT an alternative either.

There was this Christian woman, a horrible one, not a genuine one- a crazy, nasty, angry local at the shelters around here. She warned me about an Asian lesbian who was a perp in this years ago who was trying to see if one of the benefits of the harassment could be her getting with a woman who had never been with another woman before. This supposed ‘Christian’ is one of the people who knew what was happening to me and said “Well if yer soul gets tired..” then started in about sucking up to the public housing system, which was also pushed by perps for a time after all this like around 2007 or so. Trying to get me niiicce and put away in a box somewhere.

If my soul gets TIRED. WTF is this? And you’ve got these totally sick people in shelters in on this. Those people having power over me is going to be one of the number one reasons I seek revenge until it kills me. Nobody sics a bunch of peasants on me like that when I should have been in college by then. If any part of me gets tired, it’ll be time to suicide, plain and simple end of story. The key to controlling me is to make giving up into Christianity and that bs more attractive than having the balls it would take to end my own life, to ensure that all that programming is gone and wiped out.
Why is it so important to neutralize me and alter me so drastically- so horribly in a Frankensteinian manner but keep my alive physically. WHY is that so important to them?

So yes, there are Satanic factions involved. That must be dealt with. But keep in mind its all about solving an ultimate puzzle. OK they seem to be all for enslaving mankind but Christians factions I have experienced seem all to eager to also be very controlling and not allow people to be free.

So where is the truth where is freedom? I had an idea of that when I started to shape my future in 2003. I now only know enslavement, terror and almost total deprivation to stimuli as well as personal freedom.

There has got to be more behind this than religion.

Keep in mind that it seems that anyone with any real information about RA, programming or other related subject matter gets targeted and acts out in self destructive ways. Whats confusing is exactly who is behind this.. It could be that such Satanic factions are actually used by more experienced game players to whatever end.

Its very suspect to be thrown into a situation where your only two choices are two opposing factions along the same axis, yet Self empowerment and independence are the most obviously missing factors.

I believe this is very much part of the smoke and mirrors games to gain control over people.  That is why leads come and go and vanish. It could be that such factions are that powerful that their connections take action on thier behalf  and clear the problem eventually. So then why bring the issue to light to begin with..perhaps to discredit any info as sensational to begin with perhaps.


~ by onmc on January 4, 2011.

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